Hey folks!!
It’s been a few weeks since I last posted. As many of you know I made the decision to pack up my life as an Attorney to live abroad for a little while. It’s been a pretty great experience overall, but Korea is by no means perfect. To be honest, these last few weeks here haven’t been so pleasant. My “some what perfect” experience has officially been tainted.
As you all have read over these last eight months, I have really enjoyed my time here. I’ve seen and done more than I could have imagined in such a short time. Unfortunately just like any other country, Korea has its flaws. I was quickly introduced to them in a couple of unpleasant situations recently.
Situation 1:
As you know, I teach at two elementary schools. One 4 days a week and the other only once a week. The school that I work in once a week is pretty behind compared to my other school and I am usually the only English these kids get during a week. It’s frustrating at times to not see them progress. It can be even more frustrating knowing some teachers aren’t making the effort to catch them up. This creates even more of a language barrier between my students and me.
In my 3rd grade class we were without the interactive CD-rom for 3 weeks. Keep in mind these are students new to taking English so it was very difficult in those weeks. I had to improvise but we made it.
The situation that really took me over the top, was with a different class. These students are also fairly new to English but not new to me. However, their home room teacher is new to this school and his style is very different from mine. In one particular class, I was introducing some new vocabulary to the students. I noticed that most of them weren’t listening or even looking at me. They were distracted by the other teacher going around a playing with different kids. It got so bad that the student’s became super rowdy and I was now yelling over them to fight for their attention. I was yelling so loud I felt like my head would explode. I figured the kids would catch on to my frustration, but they never did and neither did the home room teacher.
I put my foot down and made the students take out paper to copy sentences. I told them to copy the three sentences on the chalkboard, ten times each. Now, my “good students” complied. The others…not so much. They continued to play and the home room teacher just stood there. My blood was boiling. I finally asked one kid to turn around in his seat to finish and he boldly told me NO! WHAAAATTTT??? At that point I knew that my time was not being valued, so I packed up and told the home room teacher I cannot teach under these conditions. My being there was pointless. He then tried to act confused which added fuel to the fire. I told the teacher he can come get me when the students are ready to respect me and ready to learn. And that was that.
After about 20 minutes, the teacher comes down to the office. I’m thinking ok, he’s had a talk with the kids and he wants me to come back. WRONG. He came to make copies and to play the “Oh my English isn’t good, I don’t understand” role. You see, Koreans “don’t do” confrontation, which is REALLY annoying. He starts talking to me acting as though he suddenly forgot how to use his English. (Mind you he talks to me just fine any other day) So in this broken, choppy way he tries to ask me why I left. (*Insert a super side-eye here) I try to explain that I cannot teach under those conditions and he continues to act clueless. He then starts trying to “tell the story” in Korean to the other teachers that were in the office at the time. I knew this because he said my name a few times and I picked up a few other words as well. Lucky for me, no one really fed into his story so he left.
I decided to wait until all of the children left for the day to go to his room to talk about the whole situation. I knew if I didn’t then I would continue to have this issue for weeks. Using my best hand motions and broken English I explained to him that if he wants me to effectively do my job, he needs to do his. He magically understood but asked me to make some rules for the students. (*insert another side-eye here) Mind you we are a month into the year and these aren’t kindergarteners, so they know how to behave in school. It’s HIM who needs the rules. But I agreed.
The next week I came with my pretty new rules in English and Korean and we actually had a great class. Now let’s pray the rest of the semester goes well.
Situation 2:
Now this situation really did it for me.
So I am really big on fitness and working out. I was a trainer back in the States and was pretty consistent on staying in shape. I knew coming to Korea I wanted to maintain my fitness routine. I started out at one gym but it wasn’t that close to where I lived so I changed.
I initially paid for a 3-month membership. It was (and is) a nice gym with everything I needed and it was steps outside of where I live. When I signed up, I was only given the receipt to show proof of payment but nothing more. I threw the receipt away because I was told by another foreigner that they will notify me when it’s time to pay again. COOL! (Or so I thought)
The months went by. During this time, I also went on vacation for weeks among other things. So keeping track of the exact date, wasn’t the first thing on my mind. I continued to workout day in a day out. The staff would greet me and nothing else was said until…
About a month and half after my membership expired, an employee finally came up to me to say it had expired and I needed to pay. I agreed to pay and didn’t think anything else of it.
Two hours after I leave, I began getting nasty texts from the owner. Her first text was a threat to seek legal action against me for “illegally using her facility and if I didn’t pay back $140 by the next day, she would sue me.” Of course this took me by surprise seeing as though I had just agreed to pay when asked that same day. Needless to say, we got into a text battle over notice and her failing to do her job adequately as a business owner. She belittles me when I explain to her I am a lawyer and I understand how things work. Furthermore, I explained that I know right from wrong and had I really known that I was doing something illegal, I would have made it right. She started bringing up “other issues she had with me” which didn’t apply to anyone else in the gym. (Not to pull this card, but I am the only black person that attends this gym. And yes racism is alive in Korea just like any other place.) After the hour long text war, I told her that I agreed to pay and that was my intention the next day. I think what distured me most, was that this lady could have easily said something to me in person. (Goes back to the point of Koreans “don’t do” confrontation. UGH)
I go in after work to pay for a new month of membership, it was a little after 5pm. To my surprise, there was no one working the desk of the gym so I went to the other floor to check for someone. NOPE. I go back to the desk and walk around looking. There is no one there. So I go home to wait. I return about 30 minutes later and the front desk girl is finally there. I explain that I am here to pay for one month and like I told the owner I will pay for an additional 3 months in a few weeks when payday comes next month. The girl pulls out a calendar to show me when my last membership expired and that I needed to pay from that date through now. Ummmm No! I was never notified that was when my membership expired so I am not responsible for that. Furthermore, if I was not supposed to be there, why was I allowed to workout all this time? She calls the owner several times but she never answers. Finally, the girl agrees to the one month. She writes it on a basic intake form and takes my payment. I asked if I needed to sign anything and she said no that was it.
I go back to my workouts for the next 4 days with no issue. Four days later, the owner begins texting me again this time saying if I am seen there again she is going to call her lawyer AND the police. So either I pay her more money or I don’t come back. I told her I paid as we agreed and these subsequent texts make no sense. Again, she starts bringing up more issues that she has with me (my outdoor shoes) that have never been addressed with anyone else. It was at this point, I realized that she definitely has a personal issue with me.
I decide to contact my director to explain to her the situation since the lady is threatening to have me arrested. (I have never been arrested a day in my life so I don’t play with that.) My director contacts the lady, but as expected she comes back saying that I needed to just pay the money.
It was at this point, I finally saw who Korea (and any other country) really is. You see as a foreigner, you don’t have the same rights as a native. Furthermore, as a black foreigner it’s even harder. Now I understand every class and race faces discrimination and racism in some aspect. But no one can truly understand the day in and day out of being black in any place. While I hadn’t experienced any direct discrimination until this point here, there have been little situations that show me that people everywhere look down on me just from the color of my skin. I’ve experienced things from people staring and taking pictures of me because of a hairstyle, people scrunching their nose up because they think black (and brown) people smell, and even taxi drivers blatantly not stopping for me and my friends. Those situations honestly didn’t bother me because they were small. But, after being in a situation like the gym one, I realize this place (along with the world) is still very flawed.
It doesn’t matter how many degrees or certifications I have, how many news appearances or newspaper articles I’ve had, or even my general compassion toward others I’m still not good enough to some people… and that’s fine. It’s sad, but I refuse to let people like that keep me from living the life that God has designed for me. Now I will admit, this situation has shown me that my time here has run its course. I will likely be coming back to the states after my one year instead of extending now. But this won’t stop or slow my passion to see the world. There are still places out there that love me and my skin and I would love to go and show them love back.
I hope this post in no way deters anyone from traveling to or living in Korea, or any foreign place for that matter. These were only 2 situations in a matter of 8 months that I faced. I am grateful for my time here and I will cherish it forever. I have met some awesome people and even learned a new language along the way. I’ve taught my kids to accept and honestly love natural hair, something they hadn’t really been exposed to before me. I’ve made an impact on my female students and taught them they are beautiful no matter what society tries to shove down their throats. I’ve connected with my male students so much so that they have special handshakes and salutes when they see me. I’ve written for an international website (my city’s tourism site) and been given high praise for it too! So, I think I have made my mark in this place and for that I am satisfied!
Sorry this post is a bit long, but it was important that I share this! As always, thank you for reading and Happy Traveling.